You Know that Feeling?

 

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You know that feeling?
You’ve been pushed too far out in the ocean.
The riptide twists your limbs into knots.

Head bobbing
in and out of the water.
You can’t see the shoreline.

Water filling your lungs.
It doesn’t matter who tries to save you,
you’ve been pushed too far out.

You know that feeling?
That feeling when it is too much.
Too much to keep battling the riptide.
You are screaming words to deaf ears,
but it doesn’t matter that no one can hear you.

You wish every word that came out of your mouth
would go back to its owner,
the daemons in your mind.
You’re spitting up words with water;
words that don’t belong to you.

But you keep drowning.
Arms and legs burning from paddling to stay afloat.
So you let yourself go under.
You let all the heavy words push you down
Words weighing heavy,
Sinking you to the bottom of the ocean
Where no one can find you and no one can forget you.

You know that feeling?
You are so sorry but it wasn’t your fault.
It was the daemons in your mind.
That pushed you so far below the surface that you lose your voice
Seaweed floats in the water just like a
Flat line signaling the loss of your heartbeat.

You hear your name being called.
Chanting. They are chanting your name.
Your name. Chanting your name.
A name that someone else gave you.
A name that belongs to you.
A name.

Choking.
You are choking.
You are fighting for air.
You are fighting for a place.

Your eyes open slowly.
You can’t remember and you can’t forget.
It was a dream.
It was all just a dream.

 

 

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